Its difficult to see someone go through something that you cannot even imagine yourself going through.

This is the second time where I will apply a tragic story as a life lesson. Life's too short to block people of your life---especially your parents. There are times when I just wanna get away from them, but then *snap anything can take them away from me. I've lost too much in my twenty-two years of living. So I hope God allows me to keep what is left of my happiness till I am stable enough to (as hard as it may seem to say) live without them. They are my spine, the reason why I am doing well enough in life. They helped me mold myself into the person that I am today. (In my eyes, there are the best parents in the world.) And I'll be damned if anyone takes them away from me or takes them apart.

Everything that I do and everything that I am---I thank them.

It is said that Shiro's Head is ready for release. Ahh! Can't wait. Weird, but I'm proud to be chaud! ^_^
Haha!

I always wanted to go to the country where our money is made---Switzerland and attend the Geneva car show, but one day I will win that bingu'! You hear me manam'kos]spc/]!

Check out some of te sickest and WTF kinda cars if you haven't already.

I got in trouble in class for laughing out loud cause of this stupid video.

( Sobe )

HAHA! Rob, you might just liike lizards now. I can't wait to try this. Facken too much cable. It should be part of the deadly sins---wait, it already is---SLOTH! I am fat, but I'm far from lazy. I eat on the move. JAHAHA! Shut it.

And I'm digging MTV's new dance show. Whee! I added the video of one of the finalist on mespace. Anyway, I gonna get back to watching Norbit. :P

One of my pet peeves are people who speak down to people just because they have not experience what you have. That's why we have eachother (stranger or not) to learn from their mistakes so that next time you wanna do whatever it is that you haven't done yet, they won't be as naive, ignorant, stupid or lost as you---prolly to even be better. And I'm prolly being a hypocrite, but I'm well aware of what and how I say things to people. If this sounds familiar then it may be or not be for you, but I'm speaking to everyone.

All I can say is just because one tells you their this and that, doesn't give you the right to be righteous---that person(s) could be lying. Lying just to protect themselves from judgemental people. Some people's secrets are more than that.

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And I need 95$ for a math book. Damn. And I thought I wouldn't need to buy one, but at GCC you need to purchase one and can't reuse any. Sheesh. I guess thats the con of having lessons online. Different programs each sem. *sighs

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And I know its fucked up and I'll get my karma, but I was so bored after I typed this entry that the comp that I was using in lab, I decided to print screen the desktop and save it as a background so I had to delete some of the programs on the desktop (not all so it wouldn't be so bad). If some of you don't get it, if you try to click on an object on the desktop like your documents, you can't because you're clicking the wallpaper. Heh. I know some of you have done this before, but I'm laughing so hard inside because I'm using the comp next to the one I messed with and the person is still clicking away at the wallpaper and he can't stop scratching his head. Ewl. Hahax100!

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Try to play this game if you haven't yet and try not to laugh. Idk why but the music and them falling. Idk. Heh.

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/crossing.htm

Haha!! Finally. Finally. You feel it the way we have for years. Its about time and its your turn. The table has finally turned. Facing the music isn't so easy, huh? If only you knew how much pain you caused and how much hurtful things came out of that thing you call a mouth. Its just sad that till this day you don't know all that you have done. Its okay, because the day has or will come.

Peace!

I finally decided to walk into class even if I'm 15minutes late, I back out---again. So now I'm in the comp lab and this lady who keeps passing by to get her printed pages keeps looking at me, even after I stare back at her. Damn mang. But this time she's FOB.

Anyway, I am for sure gonna get me a PS2. Yay! Then the saving for the PI fund begins in December. Christmas is gonna suck again, because I'll be too busy saving for the trip that prolly not much gifts will go around. And if you guys don't go, then at least I can go with my family. But I do hope you guys can go as planned.

--------------
( Bitchings. )

I got my dot. Hackie? Do you have your's or anybody? I'm in pain.

*sings Hafa adai todo maolek, how are you?

I wanna go back badly but I gotta be here for my cousin since her bestfriend passed. I might not make it on Friday---BUT I will try and hope it works out and have fun. Don't waste your load/time texting me because I'm such an idiot of leaving me phone charger at home and me spare battery is dead too so no way for me to be in contact and no phone because cuz house is new so no landline and no signal. Im telling you, its almost close to being the stoneage down here. I miss you guys! LOL.

Postscript.LYYYYN! ILL BE DOWN ON FRIDAY TO GET MY MOM. I COULD GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY THEN BECAUSE ITS AT HOME. I WOULD LET YOU PICK IT UP FROM THEM BUTTT I STASHED IT IN MY SECRET PLACE WHERE ALLLLL MY DEADLY SINS ARE AT AND THERES NO WAY I CAN LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAY THROUGH IT ALL. LOL. Sooooo sorry if I cost you any inconvenience.

I always post something about 9/11. Gay if you think, but 2001 year was a big impact in my life and that certain event shook my head in place and made me realize the world is really hell. I don't need to brainstorm about how that particular year brought my life on an almost and literally dead line.

But I decided to post this early and got it from another site. Probablly created by someone who is overly analytical, paranoid or a hxc believer of numerology.


( 9.11 )

I don't know how long I'm able to pull this off. Lies and more lies keep coming out of my arse. Its weird. The only people I really lie to are the people who love me the most and are the people who support me and are my backbone---MY PARENTS. They don't deserve it, but I'm just telling them what they want to hear to prevent them from further stress. I know shit will catch on, but while this game is at play, its gonna keep going. I can't let it out, so I'm uber depressed, stressed and everything. Soooo, I'm going to try not to do anything stupid since I'm pretty sane. Heh. So for those who do not know yet, yes, I am suspended once again. Its a long story, but I'll just leave it at that. So if you could please not say anything to anyone else outside of the LJ world, I would really appreciate it, like wh0a! Honestly, the only people that knew were Rei, Elen, Mike, Maxi and Betty. *sighs But its gonna come out whether I want it to or not. So for those who looked for me, now you know.

GCC next sem if I could. Or whatever. The reeeal plan B is too drastic right now. I kinda like not going to school, but really wish I hand't missed that fucken final exam. *sighs Talking about it is making mad, so its gonna stop.

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Got a call from Betty. *SMIILES

But had to end it early because I had work in a couple of hours.

And and and, jACK is getting another LG!! Just hope father doesn't kill my hopes (kinda hypocritic. Lol.) But he's not gonna be paying the full about, we're all gonna chip in. *yikes

When its quiet as fuck, things run through my head endlessly. Everything that I have said or done that I will or will not regret, all the fucked up thoughts come running through. If my thoughts could be heard, I would be held in a mental institute. I swear. But on the drive home last nite after getting off at 11PM, I thought of what I said in miJ's kitchen the nite of Dar's sleepover. When I admit that I would lust over "one of them" even if I was in a relationship---but then I thought . . . what an idiot to say. YOU haven't experience being in love or to be loved. So I guess that was just a spur of the moment feeling. Heh. I know, this entry is random just like everything else. Its not like I have anything else to talk about anyway.

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All I can say is, why act like a person should be worshipped when in the past you despised them and talked smack about them day in and out and now you act like you're the one they should adore. Bitch please. You and I know the shite you try to pull is just selfish wanting.

Okay I'm done.

"ONE LOVE." Lol.

Yesterday, the 10th was my brother's 25th birthday. I wonder way too much as to how life would beb if he were still around. I slept late last nite AGAIN, just crying and staring at his picture. Its saad. But what was weird was when I kept staring at his eyes in the pic, the pic shifted or IDK, like his eyes were telling me to stop crying, so I did.

Also went to Matapang Beach, but every year on his birthday I usually go to Ypao, but since Ar and Ena were with me, I didn't want to cry anymore. So I just washed my feet and stared and teared. I made up not being able to visit him. I'm going this Friday, who wants to go? Lol.

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Then Dar left to LV and my cuz left to Hawaii for 3months then Africa for a year then back to Hawaii for 3months again. My nephew was the loudest that it caused everyone who were crying to stop and stare. He screamed his lungs out and made things even more harder for everyone. Then went back to Dar's side and everyone saw me cry AGAIN. Lol. Even if only the drunk times are the only times I would cry in public. But just for you Betty, those were true tears.

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Now I'm going to get ready for work. Laters.

On here and myspace instead of doing chores. And the cost of me not doing my chores can cause me not to sleepover. I'm trying hard to get off, but since I slept for 15hours, my mind is still trying to wake up. Wha?! Work was tiring yesterday, then today again.

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I'm still giddy after reading Rei's entry. Hehe! "I was sheevering inside . . ." --- "Somtimes we cannat give in." :P

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eXcited!

./EDITth

I forgot to mention on me last entry, a very big thanks for my Xmas gift from Rubo! Hehe! She got be good into believing it was something else, like tsocolate. LOL! She got me one of the items of the list, which was the Mario Kart for Cherry. Hehehe!

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And well, I would've gotten at least an effin' 'C' for Lit, but since I missed the finals, which of course is a BIIIIG part of your overall grade---I fucked up even more and missed it and didn't even bother to push for a retake. *sighs So I checked my grades online yesterday and I gots all 'Bs' BUUUT got an 'F' for Lit. YAY! *then pulls the trigger Heh. Now I really don't know what will happen. Scray kinda. I'm gonna have to pull a really good straight-face lie if things turn out for the worst.

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Bossing will be gone for only 3-weeks and things at work are less stressful, except for weekends. Then I heard that EVERY YEAR, they go AROUND THE EFFIN' WORLD in the Summer. ow fucking lucky and filthy rich! *sheesh

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I don't know if the clothes that I have for the Xmas Ball is what I'll really wear. *sighs I wish I could snap my fingers and I could be average for a nite. Hah!

postscript. Cueshe is still bothering meee!

( [ATTN: TI4TT!] )

Fucken LJ keeps chaning. *aaah!

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Well, haven't online as much. My eye is still frigging my out. It has gotten better, but I have to refrain from using the net and playing Cherry. Hahahaha!

*shakes fist in air Eff you Guitar Hero!

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Had to say BYE to 400$ yesterday because of tuition. Even my Xmas bonus was given up. *sighs So yes, gifts will be given around January. Even family is gonna be late. Fack!e

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Just came back from Outrigger since my cuz and her family got a room. Gonna go back later to swim then off to work. Father had his Xmas party there too and called me to tell me he won a raffle, but I thought he called to tell me he won a digi or an ipod, but he won an home theatre set. *oh wells

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I'm uncertain with the Ball. I want to be there on time for the food, but what if I'm late. What will my money be used for if I don't get to eat? And another question, don't worry, I ain't complaining, but why does the DJ (Biggs) have to pay when he's hired as the DJ + has given a HUGE discounted price. Usually DJs never have to pay when they're hired as they are. Anyway . . .

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2$ in my wallet and a couple of coins
Ai sus.

./EDIT
( <b>Teh</b> list )

Damn Budha. Heh!

Well, I do have it. *sshh No ones knows what I mean, so yeah. *rasberry

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Gonna get ready for worko and I'm still trying to get Pasensya Na down. Its so hard. Lol.

And thanks again to Lyn for spotting Rob and I and sorry that I fell asleep. I didn't know till Rob asked. Lol. The Xmas movie with Jude Law and Cameron Diaz is called "The Holiday" and not "Deck the Halls" yo. Hehe. I guess its my bad. Weird how we wanted to watch Taj, the Van Wilder but it started a little past our "curfew" then later showed him in the movie. That was funny.

Okay. I think some presents are going to be given around January and if yours does come around that time, its all good. At least you get something. Heh.

And I will need to buy stuff for the xmas ball. Getting all dressed up is fun, but I wish I could do it in a sexay boday. *sighs If my thighs were a lot smaller and my hips weren't too wide and if my arms were smaller and if my cheeks didn't look stuffed, then I'd go all out---BUT since this is how today looks, then I'll just have to compromise. Haha!

postscript. I can't stop thinking of them.
I try to forget them by listening to them constantly.
It worked for a while, then when I don't listen to them,
the radio plays them or someone reminds me of them.
*gaaah!

FUCK YOU.

You think you're all game---think twice. I'm playing the same game, I'm just the smarter one, SERIOUSLY. You lying, conniving fuck.

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And the "nicest bitch" that you all have come to known, has just gotten worse. No more nicey, nice. NO IS NO. Like I've said, I've got my reasons and sadly I learn the hard way. So I don't need to explain myself, ever. So don't ask and pester---or I'll punch in te neck!